Roger Spittoon is a street preacher/performer residing in Gadalfo, Cabina. He is the founder of the sect Mudders of the Earth. He ran as an unvetted candidate in the Cabina's Second Governor Election of 3200.
Traits and Appearance[]
Roger Spittoon wears a suit completely covered in mud. He wears a kettle on his head (also covered in mud).
Roger believes that everyone and everything is mud, and that we should throw ourselves into mud grinders to combine our immortal souls with one another, the planet, the cosmos, and God. He is very adamant about this message.
Early Life[]
Roger was born on Tiber, and it is rumored he has some association with House Eridanus. In either case, due to his preaching and antics, he was sent off the planet and made his way to Cabina, where he continued to preach his message of Mudderism. In 3190 he and his first followers succeeded in getting the sect Mudders of the Earth accepted under the umbrella of The Church of Humanity, Repentant.
Cabina Governor Election of 3200[]
In the chaotic period following the dissolution of The Church of Humanity, Repentant, the governor of Cabina resigned and called for a new election. Various candidates put in their bid for candidacy, and Roger Spittoon was one of them.
His platform was built around restructuring society to feed individuals into mud grinders at the most expedient pace practical. It included the following proposals:
- While emphasizing a basic premise of voluntary mud grinding, Roger proposed a marginal tax system to pay for increased mud grinder infrastructure, in order to give everyone access to mud grinders whenever they felt they were ready.
- People who made over 400,000 credits a year would be thrown into mud grinders and their wealth would be seized to pay for more grinders. Any money left over once peak grinder capacity was reached would be spent on public services like public schools, repairing roads, and the maintenance of the mud grinders.
- Giving someone a Trilliant necklace worth more than 400,000 credits would be treated as an assassination attempt under this system, and the perpetrator would be thrown into a mud grinder. (Roger believes in capital punishment).
- Roger also questioned the notion of leaving public welfare in the private, volunteering hands of the emergent charities on Cabina. He asserted that a centralized government-run foundation was the only way to ensure the necessary infrastructure and steady funding needed for the continued construction of mud grinders.
The committee of prominent Cabinan nobles tasked with vetting the candidates did not put Roger on the final ballot.
Roger Spittoon continued his campaign regardless, distributing hundreds of pamphlets, knocking on hundreds of doors, and acquiring dozens of followers. What some referred to as a "grassroots, populist, anarcho-primitivist message" resonated with individuals fed up with the antics of the politicians and exarchs in Lux Gravare, who had led the CHR and Cabina into its present state of conflict and chaos.
Mentions in the News[]
- SPECIAL REPORT: The Real Governor Candidates of Cabina! (Twitter link) - Roger gives an interview. Read the man in his own words.