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Columba Macek

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Columba Macek is a Tribune of House Aquila and served as the head of the imperial garrison on Cabina until it was recalled in 3201. They are the single parent to seven adopted children. They were a candidate in Cabina's Second Governor Election of 3200.

Traits and Appearance[]

Little is known about Columba Macek, other than their commitment to chivalry and tea, and their firm opposition to coffee addiction.

They take their preferred and common title, "Lord Newt Aquila Macek Columba," from being a two-time winner of the Lord Newt Spectacle. It is also rumored that their family estate contains a ranch full of fire newts, and that their seven adopted children have a proclivity towards combining the arts of singing and marching.

Cabina Governor Election of 3200[]

In the chaotic period following the dissolution of The Church of Humanity, Repentant, the governor of Cabina resigned and called for a new election. Columba Macek viewed this as an opportunity to promote chivalry and end Cabina's coffee addiction.

Announcement[]

Tribune Hastati Urbane Dux Cabina Aquila Macek Columba announced their candidacy at a press conference, together with much of the local Aquilan and military community. Though acknowledging that their place as the head of imperial garrison on Cabina might make their candidacy look like a military takeover, they stressed that this was not their intent. They vowed that should they be elected as Cabina's "Quaestor," they would retire from the Legion. They announced their platform as follows:

“Four points are what I believe will chart the way forward for our planet. Four points that I intend to repeat again and again as often as needed. Four points for a better tomorrow!

First, this planet is in the grips of many crises, but we cannot solve any of them unless we first solve the one that is most dangerously killing our people and corrupting our children. And I have seven children myself, all adopted, so I know what I’m talking about. And what I’m talking about, that great danger, is of course the coffee epidemic gripping our planet. This addictive substance is spreading like a plague, and our planet must stand united as a society against this threat before it claims more lives! As governor, I shall act decisively, declare a planetary emergency, and ban all coffee permanently! Let other planets allow such harmful drugs to spread, but we here on Cabina will protect our children, parents, and elderly alike!

Second, in order to ensure the threat of coffee addiction does not return, I shall make the serving and consumption of tea in all official government buildings and institutions mandatory. Good habits begin at home, and the government is the home of the planetary community. By ensuring all government workers drink tea at all appropriate hours, we will ensure that we set the example that will free our planet of the coffee scourge.

Third, I’d like to make clear again that my candidacy is not a military takeover. As I’ve already stated, I will resign my position in the legions should I be elected. Furthermore, military force will only be used as is minimally necessary to end the coffee epidemic before it claims more lives and souls. Those who have misguidedly promoted coffee will not be harmed; only their ability to spread this addictive substance to the unprotected populace will be brought to a stop.

Fourth, once we have dealt with this malignancy eating away at our souls, we can reinvent those souls according to the most time-honored principles of our planet and empire: chivalry. Though tea is a vital part of the chivalrous life, its values extend even beyond our beverages and into all facets of our lives. By reinventing chivalry, we can reinvent our communities as places of safety, kindness, and prosperity for all.

As your governor, I will not rest till I have made this dream of Cabina Camelot a reality!”

Columba Macek received immediate support from the local Aquilan community as well as the local veteran community. In addition, mere moments after the candidacy was announced, the Cabina Cups Tea Company held their own press conference, where Ms. Minty Repentance announced that the company was officially supporting Columba Macek's candidacy, and would be throwing its considerable financial and social weight behind their campaign.

Concession[]

The election was exceedingly close, and reports indicate that Lord Newt Aquila Macek Columba made an exceptionally strong showing, due to both the influence of the tea lobby and Cabinan citizens' attraction to a firm commitment to order in the midst of the planet's ongoing chaos. However, opposition from both pacifist and coffee interests ultimately led to their closely contested loss to Grand Chemex Chemical Engineer Triangulum Arabica Kaldi.

Following an elaborate song-and-marching preshow organized by one of their seven children, Columba Macek held a speech denouncing the victory of a supporter of coffee:

"Clearly the insidious coffee addiction on Cabina is so deeply entrenched that our planet's good nobles were tricked into voting for a candidate that will only worsen this epidemic.

Also, it seems that in spite of my best efforts people still insisted on seeing my campaign as a prelude for a military takeover. I will say again my administration would not have been a military takeover. I would have governed this planet by the age old values of Aquilan chivalry and honor. Once rid of the coffee menace, we would have become an exemplar to the sector: that was my dream of Cabina Camelot.

I worry for the future of this planet with a coffee addict in its highest office, but assure our people that my garrison stands ready, always, to maintain or restore order to this planet and protect your communities from the coffee cabal and their allies."

Current Activities[]

Lord Newt Aquila Macek Columba continued to administer the imperial garrison on Cabina until recalled to Dio in 3201 due to Operation Order 13201 - Into Tomorrow.

Mentions in the News[]

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